Homolinguistic translation

Charles Bernstien
experiment 1 (paraphrase)

Homolinguistic Translation of a Paragraph from the Novel “Pretties” by Scott Westerfield. The setting is a society in the distant future where citizens are given all their material desires and standardized aesthetic surgery in exchange for systematic brainwashing. The main character Tally, a brainwashing resistant resistance member, is approached by the leader of a secret police organization, Dr. Cable. Dr. Cable then gives the standard sci fi “come to the dark side... we have cookies... chocolate chip cookies! Chocolate chip cookies who's gooey deliciousness cannot be fathomed!” speech.

“Remember flying on a hoverboard Tally?” Cable said, her dull eyes igniting with cold fire “That feeling of being alive? Yes we can make people pretty inside- empty and lazy and vapid-but we can also make them bubbly as you call it. More intense than you felt as an ugly, more alive than a wolf stalking it's prey.” (pg 133)
So here's my first translation.
“You do recall the feeling of flying?” Cable sneered, her lusterless expression alight with a deathly chill flame, “The vividness of it all? We can empty out peoples souls. Send them into the world unburdened like kites aloft on a peaceful wind, bending to the logic of our strings. You'd do best to bear in mind that we have the power to enhance the spirit as well, to set the very heart aflame with the throb of a machine and the burst of gunfire. We can give you wings Tally. We can give you rockets with all the speed in the world!”

Over lunch with my friend I also came up with this second one in which the antagonist Dr. Cable has been replaced with fellow evil cyborg mastermind Catz, from the infamous mistranslation of the video game “Zero Wing”
“Hover boards bring feeling alive know” Catz said eyes flat but warm cold. “We give board feeling inside. All gentlemen can be misty, vacated. However, we will bring sensation of wolf hunting barbecue!”

(BTW: All in all the book is a worthwhile read. So if you have a high tolerance to scifi superhero fantasy type things and futuristic Valley Girl slang you might want to give it a look. It didn't take me too long to get through it since it was intended for ages 11- 15. Yeah I started reading the series as a kid and never got around to finishing it until just last night. Also I hear zero wing is really fun. Even though I never got a chance to play it.)